I planned to have 2 posts out by now, one about medical marijuana and the other about creating my own home school curriculum, but the past two weeks have literally ripped off my ass, and then handed it to me.
By handed it to me, I mean by way of a fastball to the face.
It’s been rough, we’ve had worse for sure, it started with a later work start date for Damian and ended with a overdraft notice from the bank. Which of course blew our minds because neither of us had spent money.
It all started with having to reset a Kindle, and then forgetting to put parental settings back on. 35 one dollar purchases later -30 of which caused us to go negative…..and pay a $30 fee on each one of those….- our bank account looked like it was savagely ripped apart by wolves. Luckily the good people of Amazon understood the debacle, and assured us we weren’t alone, they immediately refunded all the purchases and our bank agreed to repay all the fees. Once the money is back in the account. Which meant the sad state of our cabinets and the fumes our gas tank was running on, became a major problem.
We ended up figuring everything out but the last few days have been challenging to say the least.
Lots of other little things have popped up, and I found myself yesterday face smashed to bed bawling; the ugly kind of bawling where your entire face leaves a snot mark on the pillow. I felt lighter after that, as one does.
This of course was following the news of Chester Bennington’s suicide and therefore the emotional repercussions of losing an artist that had screamed out songs to which I could throw my rage and emotions into. Songs that had kept me alive in times I had no will to be. My emotional roller coaster hasn’t even left the station and I already want the ride to be over.
I am just here to say: Sometimes we have the best of intentions. Sometimes we plan to finish building a whole curriculum and then blog about it, only to have a book fall on the laptop and delete all but one lesson (that happened guys). Sometimes we plan to also type up a post about medical marijuana and the struggle that is procuring a medical marijuana card in a rural community on a severely limited income; only to have a nervous breakdown because you can’t afford your medicine to keep your mental illness in check.
Life gets in the way of our best intentions sometimes, and no matter what your anxiety tells you about it, IT IS OKAY!!
It is okay to struggle, and to ADMIT it. It’s okay to not have time to do it all. It’s okay to walk away from lesson planning after you dropped the book on the laptop and deleted THE WHOLE THING. It’s okay to not want to share, or to over share. It’s okay to laugh it out and cry it out or has Chester helped me do on more than one occasion ‘scream it out’. It’s okay to need alone time, its okay to need other people. It’s okay to set some things aside to take some mental health time.
Because everything is okay.